Depression: The Neverending Battlefield

Growing up I struggled with depression. In the past I refuted every negative thought with something positive. But then high school graduation came and went. Everyone had high expectations of me but non were my desires, non pursued my dreams. I sunk deeper into depression and became suicidal.  I remember laying on the floor of my room, thinking of all the ways I could end my life. But I love Jesus and all that He's done for me, especially laying down His own life for mine. My desire to let God decide when to call me home is stronger than my desire to end my life. So I created a new motto; one step at a time, one day at a time. It isn't easy but my life is better and I feel stronger emotionally for fighting this battle. God gave me the strength to pick myself up off the floor every time I sunk into the pit and He still does. He is my strength and my refuge. He may not take away our pain but He most definitely carries us through. All we gotta do is ask. 

The Triangle: Pray/Worship/Bible

The Triangle:  Prayer, Worship and God's Word.

We really need all three in equal doses. We read the bible, listen to christian music and pray when someone needs prayer. But we should read the bible daily even just a little bit (though the more time the better),  it can vary day to day too,  some days we have more time than others. Daily we should worship, this does not mean listening to music, it means singing along in total abandon with our whole hearts, I can sing my heart out while I am working but I do make the effort to set time aside (at night before bed, sometimes I "wake up on the wrong side of the bed" with a bad attitude and I have found that singing one of my favorite songs gets me back on the right track. I am working on reading my Bible daily, I was almost there when I started my new job, but it's still a work in progress. that's okay, it takes 21 consecutive days to create a habit so if you do something even when you don't feel like it and do it consistently it will become a habit. :)

BE SOMEONE

This graffiti in Houston has been there for at least a decade. I never really liked it because I saw it as pressure to be someone as in rich or famous. But recently someone ruined the original art and media outrage ensued. I discovered that to some of my fellow Houston natives this message inspired hope, and I started to see street art with a new set of eyes, looking for the deeper meaning in each artwork. Be someone now means that if I have a dream, I can pursue it, the journey won't be easy but the dream is possible and all I gotta do is try. Instead of seeing graffiti as tacky I now see some of it as beautiful.

Here is my picture I took recently.

BE SOMEONE

Introduction

I am a part time missionary who loves Jesus, people, horses, nature and writing. Hoping to inspire others through writing.

Matthew 28:17-20

When they saw Him, they worshiped Him, but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said; "All authority in Heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. And teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Is God Fair

While reading The Case for Faith by: Lee Strobel, this little paragraph caught my attention...

***Taking The Long View (pg. 25)***

Galvin Reid, a British church leader, tells about a young man who had fallen down some stairs when he was a year old and shattered his back. The boy had been in and out of hospitals his whole life-and yet he made the astounding comment that he thought that God was fair. Reid asked him,"how old are you?"   "Seventeen,"the boy answered.  "how many years have you been in hospitals?"Reid pursued.   The boy answered,"Thirteen years."   Reid said,"And you think that's fair?" 

"Well," the boy replied. "God has all eternity to make it up to me."

Peace fills my heart at the mention of Eternity, We may struggle now but we have been promised Eternity in Heaven as our reward.   Like a quote I read somewhere, "We have about 100 years on earth, and every day is a day closer to Heaven and compare that to eternity which is forever." 

Attitude Matters

Attitude is everything... or so I've been told.

I don't think it's everything but it does make a huge difference. Today I was having a bad afternoon, that steadily grew worse.  At one point I snapped at one of our cats in frustration for sneaking past me into the house. My sister reminded me that the cat could come inside. At that moment the reality of my bad attitude hit me and I knew that if I wanted to have a better evening then I needed a better attitude. I made this discovery awhile back when I was preparing my coffee one morning. I was so tired that I set up my coffee maker (a Keurig) but forgot to put my cup under it and yes, I had a slight mess to clean up, thank goodness for spill-catchers!  As if that wasn't crazy enough, the second time I unknowingly put my coffee cup up side down (my coffee cup has a unique shape so it's obvious which way is up... haha!). Yeah.... third time's the charm, right? I finally got my much needed coffee! I chose to laugh it off rather then allowing it to ruin my morning. The rest of that day went great, thankfully. For a lot of us, when we chose to focus on the negative rather than the positive, the day (or even our life) grows progressively worse. So, back to today... right after my sister spoke, I decided that I needed a serious shift in attitude, so I focused on some positive thoughts. It took a little time, but with God's help, I was successful.  Even though a few things did go wrong, like someone accidentally blew a fuse while vacuuming so I had to cook by lamplight and the meal did take a little longer than planned. But dinner was good and the fuse was replaced. For me focusing on the negative is a weakness that I struggle with. It is something that also manifests itself into words and I unconsciously start complaining.  The Bible strongly warns against this... "Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. then you will shine among them like stars in the sky." Philippians 2:14-15.   Powerful message, I really don't want to have a negative complaining spirit so I do need to focus on my wonderful blessings, (i.e. I can make my own coffee, there are those who can't, I have food so that I can make dinner, there are people who are starving,  I have a home, there are people living on the streets). My life may not be what I dream it to be, but I am most definitely blessed.
Most of all blessed with God's grace.

Attitude isn't everything but the right attitude can make an extraordinary difference in our lives. :)